Roar

This week I have been combining the power of prayer with the sage advice of Daniel Tiger's parents on a moment-to-moment basis. 

Without delving into the monotonous details, a mistake in paperwork as we sold our home and prepared to move to another has left us without a home to move into. Currently a contract stating our five-person family must vacate our current residence in 30 days- just before Christmas- remains in place. More perplexing to us, we began this process after praying and seeking leading from God. It wasn't a flippant choice. It wasn't done out of bad or selfish intention. It wasn't done without any forethought. 

While this is perhaps a first world problem at best, and a major inconvenience at worst- because one way or another, our family will find housing in the future- we can't help but feel terrible as parents, confused as believers that felt led by God, and failures at navigating adulthood. 

In spite of this, I keep hearing myself say that I believe God is in the middle of some fairly unfair circumstances, and that is very much true. Scripture tells me I can't find a hiding spot even in the deepest part of the ocean that is outside my Maker's line of sight. (Psalm 139:7-12)

I keep hearing myself say that I believe God is my provider in all seasons, and that is very much true. Scripture tells me there's not a cow on the field that isn't entirely at His disposal, and I am assured that just as the birds of the air don't fret over food I certainly don't need to either. (Matthew 6:26-27)

I keep hearing myself say that my husband and I are teammates, submitting to and trusting one another. And this is true, even in the moments it feels counter-intuitive as my independence rises up in the face of adversity.

Tangled up in all those lovely truths are my emotions. They are less scriptural, less refined, less unified, less loving, even-keeled, or purposeful. Underneath those truths... well, the truth of the matter is that I'm frustrated. I'm angry, I'm disappointed. I'm hurt. I'm even a little embarrassed. The truth is that while my faith is secure in God's presence, my feelings are struggling to keep that solid outlook. The truth is that my emotions are resting just below my skin right now, and the moment I get a little scrape they seem all-too-eager to come rushing out in the ugliest of ways.

So I speak life, exchanging His words for my fears. I pray to figure out what the next step is. I TRY to lead  by my actions and words, though often it seems as if I'm yanking my emotions along by the earlobe. (If you know what I mean.)  And then I ask my three-year-old to sing Daniel Tiger songs about 'feeling so mad I wanna roar' or how 'it's okay to feel sad sometimes' to her frustrated momma approximately sixty-four times a day.

Hopefully, you've not experienced this exact conundrum. But perhaps you've dealt with far worse and held a far better perspective without the aid of Daniel Tiger. 

Whatever your situation today, let your heart be encouraged with mine. We aren't the only ones that have struggled to find God in the damage. We aren't the only ones that have had to shout God's promises to drown out noise from approaching opposition. We aren't the only ones that have felt wronged by people we trusted. The Bible is full of believers like you and me, waiting on the dust to settle to see just what God is up to. Abraham and Sarah were led to an absolute foreign land without any genuine familial support. Joseph was betrayed by his brothers and faced prison time for a crime he didn't commit. David hid out in caves after being promised a throne. Once the dust settled, though? Abraham's lineage led to Christ. Joseph's position led to life-saving leadership. David did, in fact, become King. Perhaps more importantly, to this day he is called a man after God's heart. 

Your story isn't over, and God's still got it. Keep your chin up and eyes on the horizon. In the meantime, speak life-giving, Biblical truth. Pray for the Holy Spirit’s direction. And when necessary, sing some Daniel Tiger. 

With Fierce Love,

-Jaime Morford